


tell me now you're not afraid

by demonglass



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Confessions, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, M/M, blame this one on strong woman do bongsoon, but its ok we get there in the end, changbin is trying his best, han jisung is a known touch-starved gay, kdramas as metaphors?? just normal tings u know, kissin, nothing like chatting on a swing at twilight am i right, one could say he is emotionally constipated
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-29
Updated: 2019-06-29
Packaged: 2020-05-28 18:22:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19399789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/demonglass/pseuds/demonglass
Summary: Jisung has always been painfully aware of every moment of contact with other people. Aware because it’s nice, makes him feel connected to them more than just occupying the same space does. He notices because he craves it like that first piece of chicken after a week of dieting, because he never gets more than a taste, just enough to send a little happy tingle down his spine before he’s left right back where he started, chasing more.But this is different. This is Changbin.





	tell me now you're not afraid

**Author's Note:**

> um hey. this isn't any of the stuff i said i was gonna post but i was making pasta and the first line just popped into my head and suddenly i had to write it so i put on cake waltz looped and now here we are! i hope u enjoy!

Jisung has always been painfully aware of every moment of contact with other people. Hyunjin’s arm knocking against his when they try to cram three to a sidewalk. Seungmin swatting his shoulder to get rid of a pesky fly that just won’t leave him be. Felix grabbing his hands, excited, to tell him something new. Chan’s hand on the small of his back when he needs pushing in the right direction. Jeongin and Minho each poking a different cheek when he chews on a tad too much ramen to fit in his mouth. Woojin ruffling his hair when he pouts because a little bit of love is the fastest way to cheer him up. He’s aware of it because it’s nice, makes him feel connected to them more than just occupying the same space does. He notices because he craves it like that first piece of chicken after a week of dieting, because he never gets more than a taste, just enough to send a little happy tingle down his spine before he’s left right back where he started, chasing more.

But this is different. This is Changbin’s hand brushing against his as they walk and him not carefully moving it away like he used to. Changbin offering to sit in the middle seat in the back of the car, thigh pressed flush to Jisung’s the whole ride. This is Changbin no longer fighting for the small beanbag when they all pile together to watch movies and instead picking an end of the couch and letting Jisung huddle under the same blanket. Changbin laughing when Jisung spit-takes a mouthful of strawberry lemonade, but still being the first one there to brush pink pulp away from the corner of his mouth and toss a towel at him. This is Changbin holding Jisung tighter than he ever has before, letting him cry into his shoulder and stay there in his arms as long as he needs to. 

Jisung doesn’t know what to do. He wonders what changed - when Changbin stopped running, hiding from him. It wasn’t like they weren’t close before. No, it’s been Jisung and Changbin together, on each other’s side, since . . . well since forever, it feels like. It wasn’t like Changbin didn’t love Jisung as much as Jisung loves him, he just showed it differently. He was just cautious, or something, and maybe Jisung was too, because he never pushed it. Never asked about it, never said a peep. 

And Changbin wasn’t blind, of course, he could see how Jisung clung to people when they let him, how he was always reaching out to someone, leaning into a touch. He could see how Jisung said _I love you_ with his eager hands and open arms. Changbin could see the wanting, melancholy look in Jisung’s eyes when he pulled away from affection enough times that Jisung stopped trying for any. They were always close, but never quite _enough_ . There was always a quiet distance woven into the closeness. Until there wasn’t. Until Changbin started easing himself into Jisung’s space, letting Jisung do the same. A tentative little thing, but _something_. 

Maybe Jisung is still cautious even now, afraid to shatter whatever small, timid thing is growing between them. Worried any step too large will be like throwing a baby bird out into the sky before its wings are quite ready to fly. But Changbin, as it turns out, seems to have shed his caution, tossed it away into the wind. 

They’re walking down the sidewalk, just after dusk, a bag of convenience store snacks swinging between them, when Changbin suddenly slows. Jisung falls back to match his pace, eyes curious.

“Hey,” Changbin says, looking more at the park down the road than Jisung. “Do you wanna-” he points in the direction of the swings. 

“Sure,” Jisung shrugs, and they veer off course. 

Changbin glances sideways at him. “Um,” he starts. He takes a small breath, light enough that Jisung would have missed it if something under his skin hadn’t told him to key into everything Changbin is doing right now because the air is starting to feel thick, charged, and he wants to know what’s coming. “You know in dramas,” he tries again, “how they all kind of follow the same formula?”

Jisung nods.

“Like how there’s always the protagonist, the leading guy, and then the second one who always kind of comes up empty? Where like… say he’s been the protagonist’s best friend forever and-” he pauses, swallows, “-has always kind of been in love with the protagonist too.”

Jisung’s lips part as he sucks in a breath, and Changbin barrels on. 

“So the second male lead maybe doesn’t realize, and when he does, is too scared of jeopardizing the friendship to ever say anything or do something about it, right? Until the main guy shows up out of nowhere and all of a sudden our guy loses every chance he might have had, all because he was a nice guy, never a brave guy. Never willing to risk it even when he sometimes thought that maybe, _maybe_ , there was a chance he wasn’t the only one with feelings.” Changbin’s voice gets very small. “You know that trope?”

“Yeah,” Jisung breathes, coming to a stop in front of the swings and sitting down quickly so hopefully he stops feeling lightheaded, dizzy with hope. 

Changbin takes the swing next to him, the bag of snacks left on the ground a few feet away. “I know dramas aren’t real life, but there’s always a chance, right, that one day someone could just swoop into your life totally unexpectedly and turn everything upside down and I guess I just... I just really don’t want that to happen. I realized someone else changing things would be even scarier than me changing things.” He takes a deep breath, turns to Jisung, and Jisung is already watching him with wide eyes. “I don’t want to be your second male lead, Jisung.” 

All the air rushes out of Jisung’s lungs. “You-” he can’t find the words to finish.

Changbin knows what he’s asking though, and he nods, smiles small, a little awkward. “Yeah.”

Jisung stares at him a moment, then rocks his swing back, at an angle, and on the return push, bumps right into Changbin’s. He pushes up off the seat, feet landing on either side of Changbin’s, and catches the chains of his swing. Changbin stands in the small space left for him, chest coming right up against Jisung’s. 

“So, you?” He asks quietly, breath fanning out across Jisung’s jaw. 

Jisung nods, grinning softly, bumping his knee into Changbin’s leg. “Yeah.”

Changbin smiles wider, wraps his hands around Jisung’s, still clutching at the chains of the swing. “Can I?” He practically whispers, eyes searching Jisung’s face, intent but gentle.

Jisung nods, leaning closer and almost beating Changbin to it. 

Changbin tilts in and presses his lips lightly to Jisung’s, pulling away after just a moment. A small whine worms its way out of Jisung’s throat and he chases a giggling Changbin back a few paces until the swing has snagged against his back, trapping him. Then they’re kissing again, movements languid and as easy as laughing together at the same stupid joke. Changbin lifts one hand from Jisung’s to catch his waist, and Jisung moves his free hand to the back of Changbin’s neck, curling his fingers through Changin’s dark hair. And they’re going to be so, _so_ late getting the food back to the others, but Jisung can’t bring himself to care. So they stay. Jisung home already, really, isn’t he? Right there in Changbin’s arms, where he's wanted to be since the start.

**Author's Note:**

> find me on twitter @speIIbond if u want <33 
> 
> i'll go back to my scheduled programming now lol those chapters aren't gonna write themselves


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